I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
