Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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