I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
