so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
