I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize