just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
