it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
