I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
