Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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