"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
