A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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