i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
