Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
