the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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