suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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