I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
