dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
