Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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