I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
