so explain again why im purple
no
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
