she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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