just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
