I wanna passion pit in your ass
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
