Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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