We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
