How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
