It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
