My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
