I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
