Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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