Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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