turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
