I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
