you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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