I am in a vortex of obligation.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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