He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
