how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How does it feel to date your dad?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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