he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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