After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
