first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
