whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
