I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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