I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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