i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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