Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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