My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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