Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
