Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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