she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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