Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
