well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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