New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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