.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
