great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
