Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
