Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
