Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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