Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
