im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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