please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
