We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
