She's JV to your varsity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is the high leading the old right now
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
